Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
