I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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