i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
