We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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