a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My ATM looks so different sober.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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