I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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