the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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