If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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