is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
