So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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