Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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