so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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