OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize