Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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