Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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