whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize