Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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