He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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