Cold hands, warm shart.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
