you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
