Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
