I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
