I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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