Little spoons don't ask big questions
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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