Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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