I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
