yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She's the barista slut.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
