I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
