Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize