How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
