Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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