You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
