don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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