I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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