But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
