You can't motorboat a personality
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
