Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
