it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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