Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
