Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
3 2 1 whiskey
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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