Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
