She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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