Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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