She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize