Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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