Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
