writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
