my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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