Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
