Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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