Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think a kid would responsible me up
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
