16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
