yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
