Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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