The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
